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Post Info TOPIC: Funny Stuff


Boobs

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Posts: 702
Date:
Funny Stuff


Subject: Hello, is this the Sheriff's office?


 


Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?"


"Yes, What can I do for you?"


"I'm calling to report about my neighbor Virgil Smith. He is hiding


marijuana inside his firewood!"


"Thank you very much for the call, sir."


 


The next day, the Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house.  They


search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open


every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and


leave.


 


The phone rings at Virgil's house. "Hey, Virgil! This here is Floyd. Did


the Sheriff come?"


"Yeah!"


"Did they chop your firewood?"


"Yep."


"Happy Birthday, buddy!"


(Who says rednecks aren't real bright)



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If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit.


Boobs

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Posts: 702
Date:

sorry, not sure where the white **** came form....

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If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit.


Boobs

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Posts: 702
Date:

TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY IN GOLF BUT AREN'T:   



10. Nuts... my shaft is bent.   
9. After 18 holes I can barely walk.   
8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.   
7. Look at the size of his putter.   
6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.   
5. Mind if I join your threesome?   
4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.   
3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.  
2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be   desired. 


1. Hold up... I need to wash my balls first. 



__________________
If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit.


Boobs

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Posts: 702
Date:

TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY IN LAW BUT AREN'T:



10. Have you looked through her briefs?
9. He is one hard judge!
8. Counselor, let's do it in chambers.
7. Her attorney withdrew at the last minute. 
6. Is it a penal offense?
5 .Better leave the handcuffs on.   
4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!   
3. Can you get him to drop his suit?   
2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.


1. Think you can get me off?



__________________
If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit.


Boobs

Status: Offline
Posts: 702
Date:

  Definition of ugly..........



   An ugly woman walks into a shop with her two kids.

   The shopkeeper asks  "Are they twins"?

   The woman says  "No, he's 9 and she's 7.

   "Why?  Do you think they look alike?"

   "No",  he replies,  "I just can't believe you got laid twice"!



__________________
If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit.
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