So a friend of mine from high school that i haven't seen in over 3 years comes to see me. I was surprised, but happy to see her. We started getting caught up on things and she tells me that she is now divorced. I made the mistake of asking her what happened....
She explained to me how "great" it had been for her and her husband (who she married right out of school). How they had a great life together with kids, house, etc. Then she tells me about 7 years ago they started having some problems and they went to a marriage counselor to work things out. After counseling, they had a more open marriage she said. I was stupid and thought this ment communication.....I was wrong!
I guess their "open" marriage lead to swinging and being able to sleep with someone else as long as they agreed upon it first???? At this point I was stunned. I have known this woman almost all my life and would NEVER saw her as a swinger..... Anyway, she went on to tell me things were great, but then he cheated on me????? With out ever missing a beat, she said she just had to divorce him then!
I was floored.....I asked her why was it "cheating" and she said because she didn't want him to sleep with that girl..... WTF!!!!!! Am I so old that i just don't understand this? I thought when you got married you left the "player" games behind you and gave yourself to only one? If they wanted to screw around, why did they get married in the first place? But to get married and then ALLOW each other to mess around???? And how is it cheating after you let them hump 25-30 other people and do the same????
Call me old fashion, but my man is mine and i don't share, nor do I mess around!
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And your point is???? Don't have one? Well then shut up and I'll give you one!
Am I so old that i just don't understand this? I thought when you got married you left the "player" games behind you and gave yourself to only one?
Nope...it isn't a case of how "old" you are.. its a case of how "mature" you are: you've just got ethics, honor and morals. On top of that is the plain common sense: Having sex with only your spouse (assuming your spouse is having sex with only you) also keeps the disease factor down.
If they wanted to screw around, why did they get married in the first place?
scarier question.. don't ask it unless you want the [ugly ?] truth.... I actually asked that question...some of the most frequent answers included..
(a) they married for money because they didnt want to work?
(b) The chance of their getting laid [if they weren't married] is slim to zip ? (unless they paid for it, tricked or lied to get it)
(c) They were drunk and it sounded good at the time?
(d) ah... and then there is the ultimate... for revenge and/or control.
HMMMMMM....since the subject was brought up of "cheating"... whats the slant in this room??? if a married person frequently is interactive with porn flicks on the net, overriding the spouses objections.... is that "cheating" on the spouse? why or why not? ...
Kat and Texas, stick to your guns.. you're quality!
I believe that if it gets to the point in someone's marrage or relationship that if someone decides to cheat then the commitment is over..... you should not stay together for the KIDS..
I have also seen were the control issues have ruled in a friends marrage. It was OK for him to have affairs and he threw it in her face and brought his girlfriends home. But to think that she might have one, well....... When she finally left him in the middle of the night while he was asleep and it came out that all through their marriage that she was having affairs too... Only, she hide hers while he threw his in her face. He was the one wanting everyone to fill sorry for him, crying on everyones shoulders and dogging her like a SLUT... To me got everything he deserved...
I think all relationships and marriages have boundries and when it comes to the point that the lines are being crossed then its over..... MY 2 Cents.....
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If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit.
I talked to her a bit over the weekend and decided to be honest with her about the way i "felt" about things......I guess that was a bad idea. She said I was "old fashioned" and needed to catch up with the times!?!? I told her NO, she needed to grow up and wake up to the reality of te world we live in and the diseases that kill you! And, that what she called a marriage wasn't anything real because neither of them respected what a marriage really is!
She griped and said maybe we had grown apart over the years? I agreed, I grew up and she didn't! So much for that friendship......I'm just not comfortable having a "friend" that thinks that way.....
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And your point is???? Don't have one? Well then shut up and I'll give you one!
HMMMMMM....since the subject was brought up of "cheating"... whats the slant in this room??? if a married person frequently is interactive with porn flicks on the net, overriding the spouses objections.... is that "cheating" on the spouse? why or why not? ... Kat and Texas, stick to your guns.. you're quality!
My husband and I had this discussion before....he watches some porn online, at first I was a bit mad until he explained to me that it wasn't an all te time thing. He said there are those times when "I'm tired" or "sick" and he needs a bit of "self gradification"....he said it helps the process? I think it's a weak arguement, but i let it slide..... He loves me and i don't believe it is a stepping stone to cheating with him. plus I made a little "movie" for him and he tends to watch that over the porn!
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And your point is???? Don't have one? Well then shut up and I'll give you one!
At this point I was stunned. I have known this woman almost all my life and would NEVER saw her as a swinger..... Anyway, she went on to tell me things were great, but then he cheated on me?????
And your point is???? Don't have one? Well then shut up and I'll give you one!
I thought when you got married you left the "player" games behind you and gave yourself to only one? 
