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deputy dinosaur


Stinky

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The hardest thing I've done in my life
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Had to tell my aging, stubborn father, that he can no longer drive.  His motor skills have dwindled and within the last week, he has almost hit two peds.  Our family knew the time was coming, but my father is hell bent on what he believes.  So, my two sisters nominate cop daughter to tell dad the wonderful news!


It took an hour for him to realize that "limited" driving was still driving.  And that was NOT acceptable.  After three hours, I think he's finally realized it.  I tried to stress to him that it wasn't because we were trying to be mean, but that we love him. 


Today, I called him to see how it went.  WENT GREAT!!  He actually said,"I love you!" OMFG, I have never in my 44 years heard that from him!!  I was brought up like his son, so I am his favorite, plus he always wanted to be a cop but couldn't because he was too short.


Anyone else ever have to do this?   Never the less, my efforts to quit smoking this week are down the drain!



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USofAcop


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My dad is only 57, he can't drive worth a crap. Can you tell him he can't drive anymore too!?

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KatScratch


Bad kitty....in the best possible way

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DD, we tried to take my grandmother's DL away before she got into an accident....it didn't work out and she ended up in one heck of an accident! Thankfully she didn't get seriously hurt or hurt anyone else....totaled the car though.....


You did a good thing, hard, but good thing and it sounds like he took it well. You might have just saved his life in the long run!



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SB


ohh, canada

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Hmmm.... you think you could get your dad to run over my dad?


I've only talked to him for three months just before and after my 6 yr olds were born. It's been 6 years since we last spoke and ten years before that. He could never tell me he was proud of me, or that he loved me. Maybe that's why my daughter can't leave the room without me telling them that I love them. I try never to let a moment pass without letting them know how proud I am of them.


I wouldn't want them to use me as cat litter like I plan on using my dad once he's gone. I really hope from my cat's sake, he's purchased some life insurance, or has made some arangements for himself!


I'm glad your father told you he loved you. It's tuff for some old guys, they just grew up in a different time and place.



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CTR man


Sweetypeach

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DD, Enjoy him while you still can.  You didn't say how old he is, but I'm glad everything went well.  Kittylynn and I are both younger than you and still wish we had our fathers around.  She related much more to her dad than her mom and I wish I could hear my fathers approval again.  The song "The Leader of the Band" by Dan Fogelberg sums it up for me and my dad.


My mom had to quit driving in her early 70's due to the same things.  It just kind of fell into place.  Plus I feel we have become closer.  Sure you may have to drive him to the store, Dr. appointments and the like but the important thing is that the two of you know that you love each other and aren't afraid to show it.  You were able to accomplish something in your life that was important to him and that he wasn't able to do.  I'm sure he is very proud of you and honored to have you as his daughter.    



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entre new


Et tu, Brute?

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deputy dinosaur wrote:


He actually said,"I love you!" OMFG, I have never in my 44 years heard that from him!!

Thanks for sharing that, DD.  That was nice.


You guys are making me feel all teary.



-- Edited by entre new at 23:21, 2006-04-07

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Plush


Make believe Slutty Zombie/Official TOP Drama Queen

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SB wrote:
Hmmm.... you think you could get your dad to run over my dad?

That made me laugh.

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Sweetypeach

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One more thing, there are a few quit smoking medications out there, some are over the counter.  See your Doctor to find out what he/she reccommends.  It doesn't work for every one but it worked for me.  It really is a mind over matter thing, one just has to make up their mind to quit and follow through with it.  I know its hard, I have been there myself.  Don't make excuses just do it.  Think possitive.

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Plush


Make believe Slutty Zombie/Official TOP Drama Queen

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nuffin

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SB


ohh, canada

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plushleather wrote:

 That made me laugh.


 



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deputy dinosaur


Stinky

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Thanks for the replies.


My dad is 76 years old and can't even balance himself while standing still!  Plus he is Asian and we know how well "they" drive.


Talked to him last night and it looks like we are going to get him a "mobility scooter" so he can zoom to the store!  Thank god there aren't too many peds on the sidewalk.



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laboo


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My grandmother is 81.  She was in a wreck 2 months ago and broke her breast bone. Now it was not her fault, someone ran a red light as she was passing through the intersection.  Three weeks later she was driving my dads truck until she got her van out of the body shop. She has her van back and is in Mississippi..... I don't think anyone could tell her, "NO, you can't drive anymore".  Matter of fact you better run because she is packing, she might put a cap in ypur ass

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deputy dinosaur


Stinky

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Well, so much for the honor system.  Mom just called to say dad drove today.  So I apparently wasted my fucking time, trying to reason with him. 


I am so pissed at him!  Spent most of the day looking at scooters.  Was going to let him try one out, but now it's here's your scooter. 


Time to play hard ball.  My sis is flying up from Arizona to go with me and TAKE his car.  (can't drive two cars at once.)  Oh is he in for a treat!  He is the type to go out and buy a new one..so his cop daughter, will submit the paperwork to DMV and take his license formally!  Didn't want to do it this way, but he leaves me no choices. 


Thank god he's also got the shakes and is unable to shoot a gun straight.  Sadly enough my mom feels she has to "take care" of him.  The ass has for the past 50 years scared the shit out of her that she won't ever leave him.  Mad!!!  I'm fucken furious!! 


Thanks for letting me vent.


 



-- Edited by deputy dinosaur at 20:29, 2006-04-08

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entre new


Et tu, Brute?

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deputy dinosaur wrote:

Well, so much for the honor system.  Mom just called to say dad drove today.  So I apparently wasted my fucking time, trying to reason with him.  I am so pissed at him!  Spent most of the day looking at scooters.  Was going to let him try one out, but now it's here's your scooter.  Time to play hard ball.  My sis is flying up from Arizona to go with me and TAKE his car.  (can't drive two cars at once.)  Oh is he in for a treat!  He is the type to go out and buy a new one..so his cop daughter, will submit the paperwork to DMV and take his license formally!  Didn't want to do it this way, but he leaves me no choices.  Thank god he's also got the shakes and is unable to shoot a gun straight.  Sadly enough my mom feels she has to "take care" of him.  The ass has for the past 50 years scared the shit out of her that she won't ever leave him.  Mad!!!  I'm fucken furious!!  Thanks for letting me vent.  -- Edited by deputy dinosaur at 20:29, 2006-04-08
DD, I can understand how you'd be angry but I'm sure he didn't mean to betray your trust.  It must be very hard to stop driving after you've been able to do it for most of your life.  Think of the control over his life that he's now giving up.  He may have had the best intentions but lost his willpower.  You're right to take his car away, but please try not to be so angry with him over this. 


But it sounds like you've had things to be angry about for a long time.



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deputy dinosaur


Stinky

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entre new wrote:

  DD, I can understand how you'd be angry but I'm sure he didn't mean to betray your trust.  It must be very hard to stop driving after you've been able to do it for most of your life.  Think of the control over his life that he's now giving up.  He may have had the best intentions but lost his willpower.  You're right to take his car away, but please try not to be so angry with him over this.  But it sounds like you've had things to be angry about for a long time.

         Sure it must be hard to give up a privilege..but at the risk of killing someone else, it is in his best interest.  That's what HE doesn't understand!  He doesn't want to kill someone, but he'll in the next minute, get into the car and drive.  Duh!!!  He is an accident waiting to happen..and with his dimished capacity..it's coming!  Just like a drunk, he won't kill himself..


I hear you Entre..but hard headed stubborn male figure who doesn't want to hear it especially from a female..bugs the shit out of me!   His sister, is a cop also.  She said,"I'll fly out and tell him to his face."  There have been times, she has wanted to snatch him by his neck because of the way he behaves."  His response is, I don't want to hear it from her, what you just told me!



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entre new


Et tu, Brute?

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deputy dinosaur wrote:

Sure it must be hard to give up a privilege..but at the risk of killing someone else, it is in his best interest.
I'm sure he's convinced himself he WON'T kill someone, or he wouldn't be doing it.  Like when people convince themselves they're not too drunk to drive.


It sounds like you're doing all you possibly can.  He's fortunate that you're taking control of the situation.  When will your sis get there?



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deputy dinosaur


Stinky

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GIRLS RULE  BOYS DROOL!


My father has caved in to the women in his life!!  Bought him a scooter, and spent the day with him.  Went to the store, and cruised around the neighborhood.  And god dam it, once he got used to it, he put it on "rabbit" speed and left me a block behind!  


  TIME FOR A FREKIN BEER!!!!!!!  SEE YA and thanks for letting me vent!



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Buttercup


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I'm really glad to hear that, DD.

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Toby101


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deputy dinosaur wrote:

GIRLS RULE  BOYS DROOL! My father has caved in to the women in his life!!  Bought him a scooter, and spent the day with him.  Went to the store, and cruised around the neighborhood.  And god dam it, once he got used to it, he put it on "rabbit" speed and left me a block behind!     TIME FOR A FREKIN BEER!!!!!!!  SEE YA and thanks for letting me vent!
Sounds like DD needs some PT this summer. 

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texaschickeee


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DD,


One of the hardest things we had to dow as take dads Dl away. He was possed, but i think in his heart he understood.


 


the hardest thing i ever had to do was tell my mom that when dad had his last stroke, that they would go into asst. living, and not back to the house. That was hard.  I dont have to worry about that now casue mom is go on her own at this time. She drives better then me, so i wont have tht talk for a long minute.


 


 


(((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))000



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one hell of a tease.
Plush


Make believe Slutty Zombie/Official TOP Drama Queen

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Woke up next to Photo. OMG that is hard.

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sparky


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Plush wrote:
Woke up next to Photo. OMG that is hard.

I bet she thinks the same though

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Toby101


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Plush wrote:

Woke up next to Photo. OMG that is hard.

Please don't bring that picture to mind, there should only be one person who has to see that. I don't need to see the doctor again for the 10th time already this month.


 


 


Toby passes around the hat for donations for the shrink. 



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Photogrrlz


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sparky wrote:



I bet she thinks the same though


YUP

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Plush


Make believe Slutty Zombie/Official TOP Drama Queen

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Photogrrlz wrote:

sparky wrote:



I bet she thinks the same though


YUP

I am a ray of sunshine for all of you WHO don't know.

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Toby101


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With or without the mask?

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Photogrrlz


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Plush wrote:



I am a ray of sunshine for all of you WHO don't know.




Man, the shit is getting deep up in here

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Plush


Make believe Slutty Zombie/Official TOP Drama Queen

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Toby101 wrote:
With or without the mask?


Umm you talkin to me? I can't heeeeeeeeeeeear youlalalala

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sparky


Man Whore

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Must be a full head mask then, if it is covering your ears plush.

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Plush


Make believe Slutty Zombie/Official TOP Drama Queen

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sparky wrote:
Must be a full head mask then, if it is covering your ears plush.


True form, Bite me Sparkle.

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