KatScratch wrote:

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Plush wrote:

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It's just that all I keep getting is, leave him...leave him. There has to be another solution before i take that final step. Marriage councellig, but it costs money that I don't really have. There has to be something i can do to fix this.

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And there is the problem....YOU think you can fix it.....what has HE done to fix it? What is HE willing to do???? Anything or nothing??? You didn't do this, stop blaming yourself and thinking it is you that has to change. He needs to change, he needs to make efforts to fix this.

Plush, Fox is right.....when it is your heart beingpulled it is harder to see the whole picture until you look. Write it down, look at it, you will see you are not the problem that needs fixed but you can be the solution.

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KatScratch wrote:

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I'm glad you are writing it down. But, you need to read it realistically too. I'm not saying it's all bad. There are always good times between couples. Those good times are what makes it hard to let go. When the bad outweights the good and/or the bad has legal ramifications....it is time to take a closer look is all. Ultimately, no one knows the whole story but you, but be sure you are telling yourself the whole story and not just the "fluffy" moments? It's your life and no one can live it for you, but you don't have to "settle" because it is comfortable. You deserve so much more, don't let fear of the unknown hold you back? He helped put that fear there as much as you have with your own guilt, but you can get past it if you want?

I'm not trying to be pushy or tell you what to do and if it comes off that way, I am sorry Plush, that isn't my intensions. Everyone has their own clock that ticks on their time, you will work this out in your own time, not mine or anyone else's. But, I am here if yah need me.....

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Plush, I haven't chimed in before now, because I really don't know you and didn't want to butt in.  However, a couple of recent posts struck a chord with me, so here is my two cents:

You have mentioned wanting to "fix" things.  I hope you understand that the only thing or person you can fix is yourself.  If you see things in yourself that you are unhappy with, by all means do what you can to change them.

But if you see things in your husband that need fixing, he is the only one who can fix them.  You can point them out to him and tell him how upset they make you and how much they damage your marriage, but until he WANTS to change nothing will happen.  You need to decide if you can put up with the behaviors you don't like, or whether you need to get out.  You can't count on him changing.

ROFLMFAO.....

Wait a minute.....I'm an aquarius too.....It's a lie, don't believe it Plush!